


Drinks on You

by MrPenguin



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Some Humor, bc sassy supervillain boyfriends, ed cant keep his butt off tables, gay old men in love, loosely set post gotham underground but before battle of the cowl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 09:49:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10874277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrPenguin/pseuds/MrPenguin
Summary: Edward comes to visit Oswald at the Iceberg Lounge for drinks and feelings ensue.





	Drinks on You

The sun has nearly set upon Gotham City; the Citizens travel to their beds as the real life of the city begins. The Rogues come out to scheme, plot, hire more expendable henchmen, get caught within the never ending chase with the Bat, or other times the rogues quite simply exist as humans tend to do. This one of many of those latter nights for Edward Nigma.  


Edward arrived at the Iceberg Lounge at precisely 8:00 pm on that Friday as his schedule had planned. The Riddler had stepped out of his car and walked through the crystalline doors. The club was filled the chatter of Gotham’s incredibly wealthy as well the sounds of a string quartet playing the latest and greatest hit of a long dead composer of old. He made his way to his way to regular spot; a small round table located in between two massive sculptures of penguins he grew fonder of with every visit. Ed ordered an exceptionally overpriced as well as watered down martini.  
Fifteen minutes later Oswald Cobblepot waddled out of his office and sat down at Ed's table and spoke,  
“I apologize for being late Eddie there were some rabble rousers who needed to be taught a lesson in respect after they rudely refused my rather generous offer”  
Ed let out a laugh and said “That’s rather unfortunate. I’d say send my regards to their families but I doubt you’ve left anyone alive to care. I trust the clean-up wasn’t too expensive?” He took a sip of his drink and continued, “Not that your hurting for money; honestly how can you get away with selling this cheap swivel? I’d be more likely to get drunk off of normal tap water.”  
Oswald leaned back in back in his chair “it’s simple Eddie no one cares about the drinks it's about the atmosphere and people always will pay through to bump elbows with the super famous as well as the super dangerous criminals of Gotham.” The fat bird like man suddenly leaned forward and smirked, “and besides you just further justified my business venture by purchasing said drink.”  
“While that may be true Ozzie. I still wish that this martini could be half as dry as your sense of humor”  
“Yes you’re quite the comedian yourself; far more likeable than the Joker anyway. The man has betrayed the both of us more times than I’m willing to admit to get at the bat himself, he’s also bad for business I can’t imagine many paying customers appreciate getting gassed, not to mention he lacks the style and finesse to fit in inside this fine establishment.” Oswald said shaking his head “but let us move to my office to discuss more important business matters. I could imagine would prove to be disastrous to our partnership if some less than savory citizens overheard our conversation and got ideas.”  
“The Joker is quite the headache and one I would greatly prefer never to interact with again. I also agree that as much as I enjoy this banter it would be more pleasurable for a change of pace and some alone time with you. ” the Riddler said with a smile. Both men got up and began to make their way to the Penguin's personal office. They ascended the grandiose staircase while the crystalline chandler cast a warm glow upon the two villains. As they traveled the short bird couldn’t resist affectionately placing his arm around the back of his partner.  
Soon after they arrived in Oswald's office. The room was smaller and far less over the top than the rest of the lounge, but the room still retained a certain level of elegance of its own as well as showcased Oswald's lavish wealth. Every piece of furniture and knick knacks made from only the finest materials most items costing more money than the average person could ever dream of having; some items bought some stolen only to be hidden in plain sight. The room was completely silent and calm save for the quiet cooing of two recently acquired birds of a rare species of doves sitting in a gilded cage next to Oswald’s desk.  
Oswald closed the door and locked it behind them. Though most people would be smart enough to know that if they intruded upon the Penguin in his private office the consequences would be dire, the added privacy and security is comforting as well as insures Oswald won’t have to bother wasting funds on making yet another example of any unfortunate miscreant anytime soon.  
Ed placed a quick kiss upon Oswald’s nose which rendered the shorter man flustered, during brief pause the Riddler promptly sat down on top of Oswald’s desk with a smug grin. There are few things that can make the infamous Penguin, Waddling Master of Fowl Play, flustered, and it makes Ed proud, further increasing his massive ego, to be one of them; not to mention he finds Oswald even cuter than he already does while blushing. After a moment Oswald cleared his throat; still not entirely composed, but quickly regaining his previous cool, he spoke.  
“Listen Eddie, you know I love you and your cute bottom but I’d appreciate it if you kept it to appropriate furniture during the present situation.” Ed slipped off the desk and sat down in the nearest chair but made a point to turn to the side and lay his legs across the armrest. Oswald sighed and sat down facing Ed. “ Now to business and why I insisted we meet in here to discuss it. First as you know the Tobias Whale debacle was quite the mess and since then I have lost a great deal of support. Some of my followers are getting restless because they’re starting to notice I am not as strong as I once was. I have quelled most of the dissent among the ranks and I have called in enough favors to have regained most of the power I had lost, but I still am short some muscle so I was wondering if I may borrow Query and Echo since I know they still are mostly under your employ despite your current status as retired from crime.” Ed took note of the slight melancholic tone when Oswald mentioned retirement. “So I would like to hire those girls for a short time till I am back to everything running smoothly.”  
“I’d be more than happy to give them a call. Even after all these years they’re just as wild as they once were, but they do good work and I am certain you can handle them if you treat them well. “  
“Yes of course thank you” Oswald seemed even more somber with every word spoken. His mind clearly now elsewhere given away by the fact he was no longer even looking at Edward; instead choosing to stare at the clock in the back corner of the room. Ed isn’t known for being the best at reading a room but there was a very deliberate shift that Ed did in fact notice do to his closeness with Oswald. There was a pause with no conversation. Three minutes had passed, but it seemed like hours to Edward Nigma. Oswald was usually one of the first people to speak his mind. Ed knew Oswald had depressive moods from time to time but to see him like this was disconcerting to say the least. Eventually the dead air got too much for Ed to handle. Edward Nigma, master of subtlety, suddenly stood up, stepped forward and then leaned in far beyond what most people would consider acceptable personal space boundaries, till his nose was nearly pressed against Oswald's and asked,  
"What the hell is your problem Oswald?" Before promptly returning to his chair. This certainly got Oswald's attention. The shorter man was once again taken aback by the taller's actions albeit in a slightly different manner.  
"What? There is no problem. I am perfectly content with myself and my situation. The only problem I had was a lack of manpower which you just solved by agreeing to call Query and Echo." Oswald quickly sputtered with a tone of indignation. Ed Sighed.  
"Ozzie, you and I both know that isn't true. You've been sulking like a child for the past several minutes and it's quite frankly ruining my fun. I know you have this thing where you're stubborn and have a desperate need to be respected, so you put up these walls refusing to let anyone truly get close because of some deep seated fear of rejection from your traumatic childhood or whatever. I get it. it comes with being a supervillain. However I had hoped we would have moved past this nonsense after all the years we've known each other. You manipulate people for a living you should be able to read me well enough to know that whatever this thing is not going to make me hate you or perceive you as weak."  
"I need a drink." Oswald got up and waddled over to a 2-bottle wine cooler he kept within his desk. He pulled out a bottle and examined to make sure it was an appropriate vintage to fit his mood, poured himself a generous glass and proceeded to down it in one gulp. He considered pouring himself another glass briefly before deciding to forgo the glass entirely and sat back down bottle still in hand. He took another sip.  
"Ozzie"  
"You know what Eddie, you're right. You are right about a lot of things. Don't let it get to your massive head that I said that. I will admit the fact that recent events have left me a bit... shaken. I am being forced to reconcile the fact that I had become complacent in the previous lucrativeness a business and I lost my edge. Had Batman not showed up I would most definitely be deceased and my empire slowly crumbling under your care. I am once again reminded that I am getting old. I have already admitted the fact my years of committing major heists are behind me. How long will it be before I have to give this up too? Or will I get killed soon in whatever major gang war comes next because I don’t get so lucky? There are already rumors circulating on the underground that both Black Mask and Harvey Dent are planning to make a power play any day now. I know I deserve to be on top. No one can run the underground like I can. It just seems like it's just going to get harder and my days grow shorter. I miss the times when I was young and I thought nothing could stop me. They were far less stressful than realizing my ever increasingly mortality.” There were a million and one emotions racing across Oswald’s face: fear at laying his insecurities bare, resentment for his own supposed weakness, relief that Ed is still there. Through all this Ed could see only the beauty and intelligence of Oswald's eyes, and thought of the grace and style to which the man he was so deeply enamored with carried himself. He listened deeply and intently to every word his beloved spoke.  
When Ed was certain Oswald was through with what he had to say he stood up once again. Oswald winced because still some small, lingering part of him was convinced Ed was going to leave him after what was said. Ed took the wine bottle from Oswald's hand, then the discarded glass on the desk and poured himself a glass. He gently sat the bottle down, once again sitting on Oswald's desk. He took sip and swirled the glass.  
“Ozzie.” The Penguin looked up while the Riddler took a moment to gather his thoughts. Ed sighed, took another sip and then continued, “death is inevitable its better not to dwell on it. In case you’ve forgotten i've lost my fair share of fights not to mention had literal brain cancer. I think I know what im talking about. When you eventually go down you aren’t going to go with out a fight which you already reconciled with in the past and I know you will put up an damn good one and that’s what matters and you know it. “  
Oswald, still grumpy, quietly grumbled, “ I hate it when you’re right.”  
Ed’s ears perked up and a grin began to form. “What was that? Say it again. Im…?”  
“I said I hate it when you're right ok? Im sure you’re massive ego appreciates it very much” Oswald said indignantly  
Ed was now grinning from ear to ear “ You know you love it. You can’t fool me. I'm the riddler. Now come over here and kiss me you old man.”  
“Right again you are a very smart man Mr.Nigma” he waddled over and kissed him on the lips. “and you are the smart man that I love.”  
“I know” he said still grinning. “ Now riddle me this? What is with the fact you were hoarding all the good alcohol in your office instead of sharing with me?”

**Author's Note:**

> Warren-worthington-iii.tumblr.com


End file.
